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Test your British to American detective skills!

3/31/2023

Now that I've written "Of Bairns and Wheelie Bins: An American guide to what those British detectives are saying on the telly," I find myself watching episodes of some British mystery that I've newly discovered with occasional bursts of joy, thinking "I know what that means!!" It definitely helps to move the plot along when I don't have to scratch my head and wonder what just went on because I didn't know some of the lingo.

So play along with me, and test your "British to American" interpretive skills! Answers at the bottom, in tiny type...

1. Barney a) a big and annoying purple dinosaur b) a now defunct New York City luxury department store c) a heated argument d) Andy Griffith's sidekick in Mayberry

2. Chivvy a) a salad green b) a street game of cards c) a scrum of rugby players d) to prod someone to do something they don't want to

3. Grass a) marijuana b) the green stuff in a lawn c) a picnic d) to snitch

4. Kip a) a pickled herring b) the stuff you bring to the gym c) a children's game d) sleep

5. Shopped a) went bargain hunting b) sold at a rummage sale c) discarded d) informed on to the police

6. Clobber a) something Moe, Larry and Curly did a lot of in the Three Stooges b) a clotted cream that goes well with strawberry tarts c) an internet dating profile d) a collection of personal stuff

7. Twigged a) went bird watching b) a muscle cramp c) had a flash of understanding d) stood up a date

8. Skinful a) a leather bota bag b) a wine bottle c) a blistering argument d) enough alcohol to get you drunk

9. Caravan a) a truck convoy b) to travel together while hiking c) a gypsy wagon d) an RV

10. Grafter a) a grifter b) someone who works very hard c) a tree surgeon d) a surgeon that does heart transplants

11. Bespoke a) engaged to be married b) the last round in a debate c) custom tailored d) offer accepted on a house

Answers: 1.C; 2.D; 3.D; 4.D; 5.D; 6.D; 7.C; 8.D; 9.D; 10.B, 11.C

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Of Bairns and Wheelie Bins and unlikely inspiration

3/24/2023

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Somehow, the thought of publishing a "British-to-American" guide to understanding the lingo of my favorite British detective shows was not even the last thing on my mind over the past several years. It simply wasn't there at all!

As many writers know, trauma and stress and anxiety can get in the way of the creative spirit, and since early 2018, I'd had a universe full of it. That's when my elderly mother--who had not only been wheelchair bound for years but also never met a fact she couldn't ignore or a situation she couldn't instinctively make more difficult--broke her hip, triggering several years of caretaking, emergency response, crisis management, moving households, hospital visits, bizarre doctor consultations, and, to be quite frank, some periods of deep depression.

There were literally times in the past couple of years, before my mother finally passed at the end of 2022 at the age of 99, where I despaired of ever being able to write again, to put words together in joyous fashion, to feel the playfulness inherent in setting up phrases and sentences to build scenes and characters.

Of course, if I HAD been able to crawl out of my defensive funk, there was quite a list of projects to get back to: a fourth Finnigan the Circus Cat chapter book; two YA novels (one half-finished, the other still just an idea waiting for a starting sentence); a detective novel I'd started years ago and then been interrupted by the Finnigan series.

But while raking leaves last fall, this particular idea sprang to life. In the fading light of a chilly October afternoon, as I raked and gathered and grimly pondered the likelihood that I would never be able to generate words again, my mind kept returning to an episode of "Vera," that marvelously cantankerous and middle-aged and utterly brilliant fictional detective created by Ann Cleeves. Another character had described finding some evidence in a "wheelie bin," and the phrase had kept me laughing for days. The words, which referred to what I'd call a "garbage can" or "recycle bin" was so utterly CHARMING, as though winged fairies would escort me to the curb as I took out the trash.

And so as I raked, I started to laugh. And that spurt of laughter, combined with the fact I'd already been assembling a list of like phrases to share with friends and family who were similarly devoted to British mysteries, gave birth to this quirky project, Who was I to say "no" to an unexpected spark of inspiration? And the fact that I could channel my "Vera" Halloween costume--replete with my own bucket hat and a 30-year-old canvas barn jacket and a dreadfully mismatched thrift store scarf--for a cover photo was simply icing on the cake.

With this project now pushed out of the birth canal and "live" on Amazon as an e-book (a "short," really), I suppose I should start looking over that list of older, unfinished writing projects and pick one up where I'd left off.

But first a grateful toast to the universe, and to the random nature of inspiration, for throwing me a lifeline and putting me back in the saddle!

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Test your British to American detective skills!

Of Bairns and Wheelie Bins and unlikely inspiration

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